Help Wanted/Transcript
. Cast *SpongeBob SquarePants *Patrick Star *Squidward Tentacles *Eugene H. Krabs *Anchovies *Bus Driver (cameo) *Gary the Snail *French Narrator (voice) Transcript *(After the theme song plays and the title card has been shown a bubble transition to the episode begins and the episode starts. In the opening we see a small street hidden behind some coral reefs in the ocean. The camera zooms into the street to show a pineapple, an Easter Island Head and a brown rock sitting next to each other. A Narrator who speaks in a French accent begins talking to introduce the place) *'French Narrator:' Ah, the sea...So fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom teeming with life. (The camera moves from the brown rock to the pineapple) Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes of course he live's in a pineapple you silly. (The camera zooms into the inside of SpongeBob's Pineapple where he is shown to be sleeping on his bed. His alarm which is in the shape of a horn begins ringing which causes SpongeBob to wake up amd switch it off. Above his bed is a ladder connected to a diving board in which SpongeBob climbs it) *'SpongeBob:' Today's the big day Gary!. *'Gary: '''Meow. *(SpongeBob attemps to jump off the diving board) *'SpongeBob:' Look at me i'm NAKEEEED! (SpongeBob jump's off the diving board leaving his underpants behind and lands sucsessfully on his pair of pants. His head is almost hanging out of the pants.as he walks to his excersise room) Gotta be in top phsyical condition for today, Gary. *'Gary:' Meow. *(Inside the excersise room they're 2 cuddly toys wedged on each side of a barbell with a few cuddly toys sitting near by. Near it is a banner that says "I Love Pain". SpongeBob inhales deeply and attempts to lift the barbell. He sticks out his chest and groans in pain. After he has sucsessfully lifted the weight he drops it as it was extremely heavy for him to lift which makes a squeaky noise) *'SpongeBob: I'm ready!. (SpongeBob opens the door, runs outside.and heads towards the Krusty Krab) I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. (He runs past Patrick Star's rock. Patrick's rock tilts upwards similar to how you would open a rubbish bin. Patrick is shown stuck to the underside of the rock) *'''Patrick: Go SpongeBob!. (Patrick falls off his rock) Woah!. (A crash is heard) *(Spongebob walks past and heads to the Krusty Krab. When he arrives he stops and stares) *'SpongeBob: '''There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty. With a "Help Wanted" sign in the window!. For years i have been dreaming of this moment!. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'im straight in the eye (SpongeBob looks at the audience with his eye) Lay it on the line (He walks on the spot) and......I CAN'T DO IT!. (He runs back to his house but Patrick stops him) Uh Patrick!. *'Patrick:' Where do you think your going? *'SpongeBob:' I was just....... *'Patrick:' No your not. Your going to the Krusty Krab to get that job! *'SpongeBob: I can't, don't you see?. I'm not good enough! *'''Patrick: Whose first words were "May i take your order" *'SpongeBob:' Mine were. *'Patrick: '''Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop? *'SpongeBob: I did. *(Patrick thinks as he tries to come up with a appropriate 3rd line) *'''Patrick: Who's a, uh who's uhh. oh! who's a big yellow cube with holes? *'SpongeBob:' I am!. *'Patrick:' Who's ready? *'SpongeBob:' I'm ready! *'Patrick:' Who's ready? *'SpongeBob:' I'm ready! *'Patrick:' Who's ready? *'SpongeBob:' IIIIIIIII'MMMMMM reeeeeeaaaddyy! I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready I'm ready (Spongebob head's towards the Krusty Krab) *(Scene cuts to Squidward who is cleaning a graffiti of himself with loser on the top, He notices SpongeBob and sighs) *'Squidward:' Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want? *(SpongeBob is talking in the background) *'SpongeBob:' I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Go SpongeBob! Go SpongeBob! Go SpongeBob! Go self! *(Squidward notices the Help Wanted sign) *'Squidward:' AAAHHH!!!.Mr Krabs! (Squidward runs inside to the register where Mr Krabs is sitting and sniffing a handful of money) Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you (SpongeBob interrupts their conversation) *'SpongeBob:' Permission to come aboard, captain! (He changes to a muscular voice) I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew.(He goes back to his normal voice) And now i'm ready. (He walks forward but trips up on a nail that is wedged onto a floorboard. He falls over and bounces everywhere in the Krusty Krab. Once he has stopped bouncing he lands near Squidward) So, uh, when do I start? *'Mr Krabs:' Well lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs. *'SpongeBob: '''Mr. Krabs, please. Ill prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me. *(They both run off to a quiet spot to talk) *'Squidward:' (He inhales) No. (Mr Krabs winks then they run back to him) *'Mr Krabs:' Well lad, well give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew! Go out and fetch me... (SpongeBob pulls out a notepad while Mr Krabs thinks) a, uh, hydrodynamic spatula... (SpongeBob copy's this down) with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, (SpongeBob also copy's this down) and, uh... turbo drive! (SpongeBob writes the last sentance) And don't come back till you get one! (Mr Krabs put's a Krusty Krew hat on SpongebBob. SpongeBob checks himself in the mirror and smiles) *'SpongeBob:' (Saluting Mr Krabs) Aye aye, captain! (SpongeBob double checks the list) One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, Sir! *'Mr Krabs:' Carry on! (SpongeBob exits the Krusty Krab) We'll never see that lubber again. *'Squidward:' You're terrible! A hydro-what? (They both laugh. While they laugh SpongeBob is shown leaving the Krusty Krab. When SpongeBob is gone 5 buses drive towards the Krusty Krab) *'Bus Driver:' Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and put their hands out the window! *(The buses form a circle around the Krusty Krab. When the doors open Mr Krabs suddenly stops laughing) *'Mr Krabs:' That sounded like hatch doors! (Mr Krabs sniffs the air) Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells smelly. (Mr Krabs eyes go bigger because he recognised the smell) Anchovies. *'Squidward:' What? *'Mr Krabs:' Anchovies! (The anchovies get off the buses and pile into the Krusty Krab crowding around and causing a racket) *'Squidward:' Please, please, quiet! (The anchovies obey and stop talking) Is this any way to behave, hmmm? *'Anchovy:' Meep! *'Squidward:' Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register? (It goes quiet for a second then the anchovies start attacking the boat. Scene cut's to SpongeBob who heads inside Barg N Mart. *'SpongeBob:' (Singing) Barg-N-Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs. (Scene cut's back to the Krusty Krab where Squidward and Mr Krabs are been tossed around still on the boat) *'Mr Krabs:' All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants! *'Squidward:' One single file line was all I asked! *'Mr Krabs:' Whoa! Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward! (They both get thrown up in the air with the boat) Were taking on water, Mr. Squidward! (Again they get thrown up into the air but the boat in peices) I want my mommy, Mr Squidward! (They get thrown again but the boat has gone. Scene cut's to Barg-N-Mart where SpongeBob is walking down the aisle with a trolly) *'SpongeBob:' (Singing) Do do do do do do, spatula, spatula, port-and-starboard attachments. *(Scene cut's back to the Krusty Krab where Mr Krabs and Squidward are riding a waveful of anchovies and they crash into a pole) *'Squidward:' HELP!!!! *'Mr. Krabs:' MAN OVERBOARD!!! Climb, Mr. Squidward! Climb! *(They climb the pole as high as they can. They anchovies attempt to destroy the pole by forming into a wave) *'Anchovies:' Meep!!!! Meep!!!!!! *'Mr Krabs:' This is the end! Good-bye, Mr. Squidward! *'Squidward:' Oh Mr. Krabs! (They begin to cry but SpongeBob interrupts them as he flys past with a megaphone and with the spatula which has a flashing red light. SpongeBob is singing a heroic tune) *'SpongeBob: Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula?. (Squidward and Mr Krabs have trouble with speaking as they are surprised) That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with (He presses a button which activates 2 more spatulas) port-and-starboard attachments, and lets not forget the turbo drive! (He presses another button which spins the Spatula and smacks into Mr Krabs and Squidward's face) Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen! (He heads towards the kitchen while talking to the anchovies) Who's Hungry!? (He flies to the kitchen and start's to make the patties.. '''Tiny Tim's Living In The Sunlight, Loving In The Moonlight plays in the background.) *(SpongeBob is putting the patties on the grill) * *:Things that bother you *:never bother me! *:I'm so happy as pie, ha-ha! *:Livin' in the sunlight! *:Lovin' in the moonlight! *:Having a wonderful time! * *:(SpongeBob is cutting the ingredients) * *:Haven't got a lot! I don't need a lot! *:Coffee's only a dime! *:Livin' in the sunlight! *:Lovin' in the moonlight! *:Having a wonderful time! * *:(SpongeBob is dancing and squirting the sauces) * *::Just take it from me! *::I'm as just free as any daughter! *::I do what I like just when I like and how I love it! *:(Break) *(SpongeBob is turning himself into numbers) *(SpongeBob throws the patties to the anchovies) * *:::I'm right here to stay *:::When I'm old and gray! *:::I'll be right in my prime! *:::Livin' in the sunlight! *:::Lovin' in the moonlight! *:::Having a wonderful time! * *:::Hee Hee Hee HEE! Hee Hee Hee hee. Hee Hee Hee HEE Hee Hee hee. *:::Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee HEE! Hee Hee Hee Huuhh Heu heu heu heu heu heu *(The anchovies leave with satisfyed smiles on their faces. The song end) *'Mr Krabs:' That was the finest fast foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants! Welcome aboard (SpongeBob is given a name tag) *'Squidward:' But, but Mr. Krabs. *'Mr Krabs:' Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip! *'Squidward '(Unenthusiastic) Hurray. Mr..... *'Mr Krabs:' Hip-hip! *'Squidward:' (Quickly) Hooray, *'Mr Krabs:' Hip-hip! *'Squidward:' (Quickly) Hooray. Mr Krabs! *'Mr Krabs:' I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty (He takes a wheelbarrow full of cash into his office. Patrick enters) *'Patrick:' Good morning, Krusty Krew! *'Squidward:' What would you like to order, Patrick? *'Patrick:' One Krabby Patty, please (SpongeBob heads back to the kitchen with his spatula and throws Krabby Patties at Patrick similar to what he did to the anchovies. Patrick flies out of the Krusty Krab screaming) *'Squidward:' Mr. Krabs! Mr. KRABS!!! (In a singing tone) Mr. Krabs, come see your new employeeeeeeeee! *(The screen fades to black to end the episode) Category:Season 1 transcripts